DS Haiku – Movie tie-in edition

 

Quick, think of a movie-related video game that you’ve actually liked. I’ll wait…

Yeah, none. So who keeps buying this shit? If this weeks’ new DS downloads on the Nintendo Channel are any indication, it’s got to be little kids haggling with their parents for this shovelware. Time to unleash haiku fury. But first, a little genuine old-school excitement:

Contra 4: Contra FUCKING Four!/The Code doesn’t work at all/I got my ass kicked

The Incredible Hulk: Hulk mad, Hulk smash you/Right after Hulk smash this ice/And stupid soldiers

Kung Fu Panda: Say this with me now/Stylus action controls suck/No damn exceptions

Wall-E: Wee garbage robot/Makes blocks of explosive trash/And bores me to death

the Wii bloc

Nintendo recently posted two very interesting poll questions on the Everybody Votes Channel last week, and I was elated – as a media and politics junkie – to discover that the results came out this week.

The first question asked: Are we living in the best of times or the worst of times? The results:

More than half of the Nintendo Nation thinks we’re living in the best of times? That certainly doesn’t jive with the polls that have been reporting +80% we’re-moving-in-the-wrong-direction. It’s interesting to see where the negativity lies:

Maine, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Indiana, West Virginia, Tennessee, North Carolina and Florida are pissy. Puerto Rico is drawing a hard green. Lot of swing states here. So what does this mean for Obama’s message of Hope or McCain’s message of security? I’m not sure it matters at all. There’s a lot of kids on this poll, and they don’t pay bills. They don’t care about politics either: